Family & relationships

Content

Archives

Looking for more? To search for stories and photos older than 90 days, you will need to set up an account with Newscom to access the SHNS archive. Click below
archives >>

64 results 1 2 3 4 ...

Hart: Excited to go, sad to leave bc-hart23(sh) | By: BETSY HART | Source: Scripps Howard News Service | Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) May 23, 2013 1:15 PM By BETSY HART One of my children in particular shed some tears recently over our upcoming move. And that made me happy. I'm not sadistic, so don't worry. (Yes, it made me a little sad, too.) I've been writing lately about my family relocating to my new husband's home, soon to be our home, about 40 minutes away from where we live now. It's a big deal to us. We haven't moved often. In the life of an adult, of course, a 40-minute drive isn't much when it comes to maintaining friendships. But in the life of a child, it's a fairly daunting obstacle to keeping relationships alive. We certainly plan on visits and overnights, but it won't be the same. There's no "Mom, can I go to so-and-so's house after rehearsal? Her mom will bring me home," or "Let's meet up before school tomorrow." So while all of my children are excited about a new home in a new neighborhood and living with a stepdad they adore, there is sadness, too. This particular daughter knows that she will make many new ...

Relationship: Working it out bc-relationshipfam23(sh) | By: BARTON GOLDSMITH | Source: Scripps Howard News Service | Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) May 23, 2013 10:25 AM By BARTON GOLDSMITH I saw a cartoon once depicting a curmudgeonly couple with scowls on their faces, and there was this line: "This relationship works because we make it work!" I know it was meant to be a joke, but the truth is that if more couples did a little work, divorce attorneys would work a lot less. I know that the idea of "working" on a relationship is foreign to many couples. Most think that things will just straighten themselves out if they just ignore the problem. So after an argument, for example, couples won't discuss the problem or work to resolve and minimize the fallout. They simply go on with their lives until they either forget about what happened and the hurt feelings or until something else comes along to distract them from the previous issue. Working on your relationship is not effortless, but it's a lot easier than repairing one that has gone wrong. One great tool is to make long-term plans for your future together. If that seems like it's too much to deal ...

Ask Carley: Miffed about someone else hosting the bridal shower bc-askcarley22(sh) | By: CARLEY RONEY | Source: Scripps Howard News Service | Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) May 22, 2013 11:10 AM By CARLEY RONEY Q: I'm the maid of honor in my best friend's wedding, and I was excited to plan her wedding shower until I received an email from another bridesmaid. It announced that she'd already planned the bridal shower and that help from the other wedding attendants wasn't necessary as she has everything "under control." Do I talk to my friend about being blindsided by this wannabe MOH? A: Though admittedly this situation is unusual, as maid of honor, it'll often be your job to grin and bear it. Yes, it's traditionally the MOH's prerogative to plan the shower, but, anyone can technically do it. That said, her email does push the limits of pleasantness. Leave the bride out of it, since she has enough stress, and redirect your party-planning energy. Send an email to the bridesmaids saying you'll be in charge of the bachelorettes' or bridesmaids' outing. If she tries to butt in on your plans, thank her and explain that you've got everything "under control." (Carley Roney, co-...

Randall: Lucky for all sorts of reasons bc-randall21(sh) | By: SHARON RANDALL | Source: Scripps Howard News Service | Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) May 21, 2013 11:45 AM By SHARON RANDALL I am lucky. Randy says so. Two months ago, when I left his house to fly back to mine after a long and happy visit, my 2-year-old grandson woke from his nap and asked his mother, "Where is Nana?" "She's gone home," she said, "to her house to see Papa Mark." Randy likes me. A lot, I think. What's not to like about nanas? But he really likes Papa Mark. "She's gonna see Papa Mark?" he said. "She's so lucky!" I am lucky for all sorts of reasons. Papa Mark is one of them. A big one. But there are others that I tend to forget. Why is it that people who make the greatest difference in our lives are often the easiest to take for granted? For the past six weeks, off and on, I've been on the road or in the air, in eight states and three time zones, rummaging through a suitcase for things I forgot to pack, and depending on the kindnesses of strangers. In those weeks, I spoke at fundraisers in four cities: In Grand Island, Neb., at a state convention of the General ...

Hart: There's no place like home -- especially when it's a mess bc-hart16(sh) | By: BETSY HART | Source: Scripps Howard News Service | Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) May 16, 2013 11:35 AM By BETSY HART My house has never looked better. In fact, I've never seen it like this. Every single room is perfectly tidy. There is no clutter anywhere. Every paint scratch has been touched up, every floor is clean. Every dish is put away, and each hairdryer and similar appliance (with three girls, I have a lot of them) has its cord carefully wound and is "just so" on the shelf. My paperwork is neatly sorted and stacked. The computer area where the kids sit has the chairs properly tucked in under the table. All papers, candy wrappers and school-related stuff have disappeared. The built-in lockers -- one for each of my four children -- are perfectly arranged, as is the coatroom itself. Pictures -- but not too many -- are displayed attractively. The furniture is perfectly situated on just-shampooed carpets, with some extraneous pieces having been removed. Beds are made; no towels are anywhere but where they should be. The laundry is all done and put away on shelves in the ...

Relationship: The blahs bc-relationshipfam16(sh) | By: BARTON GOLDSMITH | Source: Scripps Howard News Service | Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) May 16, 2013 10:55 AM By BARTON GOLDSMITH You've got the blahs. You're not feeling hopeless, but you're not feeling good, either. Sometimes it's hard to put a finger on it, but it's a normal thing for most people, and it doesn't mean you are clinically depressed. In life, we have to take the good with the bad, and some days just aren't as nice as others. It could be raining, which has an effect on quite a few folks, or it might be that things just aren't going well at work or in your relationship. Perhaps you didn't sleep well, or you haven't been getting enough exercise. Whatever the reason, having a blah day is part of being human, and learning to accept and push through the blahs is imperative if you don't want to let your moods rule your life. There are a jillion ways to change your mood and turn a bad day into an OK or even good one. The trick is to recognize that you aren't feeling as good as you'd like and then rise to the challenge of making yourself feel better in some way, shape, or form. ...

Pearls of wisdom from a fourth-grader bc-happiness(sh) | By: HEATHER TEMPESTA | Source: Tampa Bay Times | Health and Fitness (AH), Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) May 15, 2013 3:02 PM By HEATHER TEMPESTA "How do you know if someone is happy?" my 10-year-old blurted out on a recent quiet drive to school. I took the parental lazy way out -- ahem -- the opportunity to turn it around on him. "How do YOU know when someone is happy?" He looked at me with the most adorable face and said forcefully, "It's hard to tell if someone is really happy or not. You smiled when you were married to Dad. And you guys decided to divorce." Oh, boy. "Honey," I responded, "happiness is not a specific look. It's really not even a feeling as much as it is a choice. You have to choose as often as you can to be happy with what you have, where you are and where you're going." I wanted to go on to inform him that happiness isn't the destination, it's the way of travel. I want him to travel wisely because you can't turn around -- you can only change your path. But, he's 10. And it's only an eight-minute drive. I asked him, "What makes you happy?" He is an outgoing, charming kid but ...

Ask Carley: Wearing white is the bride's prerogative bc-askcarley15(sh) | By: CARLEY RONEY | Source: Scripps Howard News Service | Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) May 15, 2013 12:55 PM By CARLEY RONEY Q: My mother says that when I moved in with my fiance I relinquished the right to wear a white wedding dress on my wedding day. Is this true? A: In a word, no! It's not true. You're living in the era of Bridget Jones, not Hester Prynne. Once a symbol of celebration and affluence (since only a woman of means could afford to wear an easily soiled dress just once), the color white now symbolizes purity (read: virginity). That said, the majority of women these days wear a white wedding dress at their weddings regardless of the nature of their relationships. If you want to wear a white wedding dress, do it. Tell Mom that you've decided to recast the color's symbolic message to one of new beginnings: Your new life begins on your wedding day, and you begin that life with a clean slate. The key is to follow your heart and do what feels right to you. (Carley Roney, co-founder and editor in chief of The Knot, the nation's leading wedding resource, advises millions of ...

Relationship: How to get your life moving in the right direction bc-relationship-fam(sh) | By: BARTON GOLDSMITH | Source: Scripps Howard News Service | Family/Relationships (LY) May 9, 2013 12:35 PM By BARTON GOLDSMITH Many people feel that they can't get their lives moving in the right direction. If you embrace the attitudes below, you'll find it easier to get where you want to go. Respect yourself. Without self-respect, you will not have the confidence you need to participate in the world and fulfill your dreams. Being unable to respect yourself is a sign that you need to do some inner healing. Once you have, life can be wonderful again. Get emotional support. The energy you get from those people who care about you is a gift. It's important to remember that those who have close relationships and friendships with others generally live longer and fuller lives. When you feel the need, reach out to someone you know cares about you. Employ positive thinking. Keeping your thoughts moving in a positive direction not only makes you feel good in the moment, but it also staves off anxiety and depression. It also gives you the one thing that we all need to keep our lives moving ...

Hart: There is value in relationships of the moment bc-hart09-moment(sh) | By: BETSY HART | Source: Scripps Howard News Service | Family/Relationships (LY), Editorials and Opinion (KE) May 9, 2013 11:45 AM By BETSY HART I was talking with one of my daughters the other day. She was conflicted about spending time with a new child in her class given we are moving to a new area in just a few short months. To her mind, what is the point? She was fairly matter-of-fact about the issue, and I was taken aback. I wouldn't have always been. I remember years ago adopting what I jokingly referred to then as a "no net-new-friends" policy. I said I had no room for anyone else, that if I made a new friend, an old one would have to go! To paraphrase Shakespeare, "many a truth is spoken in jest." I remember being (ungratefully!) irritated if I was invited to a dinner party and seated next to someone I didn't know. Actually, I would get irritated if it was a small group and the hostess invited anyone I didn't know. Don't people understand, I would think, that when you go out to relax you want to be able to kick back? You don't want to meet someone new because someone else knows "you'll just think ...

Hart: Hormonal birth control and 15-year-olds. Seriously? bc-hart02(sh) | By: BETSY HART | Source: Scripps Howard News Service | Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) May 3, 2013 3:15 PM By BETSY HART Our culture has abandoned the protection of our girls. That, of course, has huge implications for the well-being of our boys, too. As a mother of four -- including three girls, ages 11, 14 and 16 -- few things scare me more. This week, the Food and Drug Administration ruled that girls as young as 15 can get the Plan B One-Step (or so-called morning-after) pill without a prescription, or even having to go to the pharmacy counter. The pills are not designed to abort, but to provide emergency hormonal contraception following unprotected sexual intercourse. A report in a recent edition of the journal Pediatrics says that about 14 percent of teen girls have had sex by their 15th birthday. While some find that number low, I find it shockingly high. In any event, the FDA decision would be silly if it weren't so serious. These are girls who cannot work without a permit, can't drive a car by themselves, can't choose to drop out of school -- or, in many cities and towns, ...

Hart: Hormonal birth control and 15-year-olds. Seriously? bc-hart02(sh) | By: BETSY HART | Source: Scripps Howard News Service | Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) May 2, 2013 4:45 PM By BETSY HART Our culture has abandoned the protection of our girls. That, of course, has huge implications for the well-being of our boys, too. As a mother of four -- including three girls, ages 11, 14 and 16 -- few things scare me more. This week, the Food and Drug Administration ruled that girls as young as 15 can get the Plan B One-Step (or so-called morning-after) pill without a prescription, or even having to go to the pharmacy counter. The pills are not designed to abort, but to provide emergency hormonal contraception following unprotected sexual intercourse. A report in a recent edition of the journal Pediatrics says that about 14 percent of teen girls have had sex by their 15th birthday. While some find that number low, I find it shockingly high. In any event, the FDA decision would be silly if it weren't so serious. These are girls who cannot work without a permit, can't drive a car by themselves, can't choose to drop out of school -- or, in many cities and towns, ...

Relationship: The best Mother's Day present bc-relationshipfam02(sh) | By: BARTON GOLDSMITH | Source: Scripps Howard News Service | Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) May 2, 2013 2:50 PM By BARTON GOLDSMITH Where would you be without your mom? When you stop to think about it, you wouldn't be here at all, which ought to make you feel that much more grateful to her on Mother's Day. She also raised you. Sure, you had your bad moments. And sometimes they still happen. Anytime you have a deep, long-term relationship with a powerfully influential person, there are going to be a few speed bumps. The important thing to remember is that those negative interactions are far more temporary than the lifelong relationship you have with this woman who has helped to mold you into the person you are today. If you choose to focus on the uncomfortable parts of your relationship with her, it will create greater discomfort. She may have some behaviors that rub you the wrong way, but are they really worth making yourself crazy over? How about, as a gift to this year, you choose to drop your resentments toward your mother and acknowledge the positive actions she has taken on your behalf....

Call me June Cleaver. Or maybe it should be Peg Bundy. bc-innerpegbundy(sh) | By: HEATHER TEMPESTA | Source: St. Petersburg Times | Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) May 2, 2013 2:45 PM By HEATHER TEMPESTA I'm convinced that becoming a mother activates a genetic strand that provokes an alternate personality. In one corner is the loving, nurturing, compassionate side of mom that most resembles June Cleaver, the ever-understanding mother from "Leave It To Beaver," that idyllic old show. In the other corner is the oblivious, selfish, neglectful Peg Bundy from the more recent -- and anti-family -- comedy, "Married ... With Children." Being a single mom of three kids, working full time, and maintaining the home and everything that transpires in it makes it a flip of the coin as to which mom my kids get. Of course, they prefer June Cleaver, but by now, they're all too aware of a few of the triggers that elicit a different side of me. Note: Awareness does not necessarily lead to avoidance. Let's examine what wakes up my inner Peg Bundy. -- Waiting to begin talking to me during my favorite shows, like "The Voice" or "True Blood." (I never implied that all of these ...

Ask Carley: Is dancing required at a wedding? bc-askcarley01(sh) | By: CARLEY RONEY | Source: Scripps Howard News Service | Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) May 1, 2013 11:20 AM By CARLEY RONEY Q: My fiance and I don't dance -- a sad case of four left feet! Is dancing required at a wedding? Isn't great food and good conversation enough? A: Dancing is absolutely not required at a wedding. Background music is perfectly appropriate, even if it's just for dinner. But bear in mind that many guests will be expecting to dance and, more importantly, they'll be expecting to ooh and ahh while you take a spin for your first dance together as newlyweds. How you deal with it is entirely up to you, but if you decide to avoid questions, remember that you don't have to know how to dance to enjoy a "first dance" -- you can simply sway in each other's arms. Here's another idea: Take dance lessons and surprise everyone who thinks you've got no rhythm! It'll be a memorable wedding moment, and dance lessons are a fun way to de-stress and bond during your engagement. No matter what you decide, you should be able to make it work -- left feet and all. (Carley Roney, co-...

Dealing with loud jerks at concerts bc-concert-etiquette(sh) | By: DAVID BURGER | Source: Salt Lake Tribune | Lifestyle (KO), Music (EM), Family/Relationships (LY) Apr 30, 2013 12:25 PM By DAVID BURGER It has happened to all of us. You are at a concert, and some jerk behind you starts talking. And talking. And talking. Loud rock shows usually drown out these annoying folks. But plenty of other concert venues try to create an intimate vibe where you can hear Leonard Cohen sing about a secret chord that pleased the Lord, rather than hearing some stranger talk about what he had for lunch -- or, worse, how it's affecting his stomach. Those of us who sit in front of these twits get fed up -- but not fed up enough to speak to the offending person. Because who wants to be a killjoy who stifles everyone's fun? With the summer-concert season about to begin, we asked around -- even touching base with the great-great-grandson of etiquette maven Emily Post -- about the best way to deal with that annoying loudmouth who sits behind you at a show. "If you're paying $15 to get in, it's ridiculous to waste it," singer-songwriter Justin Townes Earle said. "Don't make your ...

Have a hand in making signature drinks for your wedding bc-weddingdrinks(sh) | By: SABRINA ROCCO | Source: Tampa Bay Times | Lifestyle (KO), Food and Nutrition (DD), Family/Relationships (LY) Apr 30, 2013 11:45 AM By SABRINA ROCCO Buying a bunch of booze and paying someone to mix and pour it puts a healthy dent into a wedding budget. But an emerging trend in weddings can help couples cut spending and personalize libations. The signature drink. Team up with your bartender, ditch a full-liquor bar and create one or two customized cocktails that represent your taste as a couple. Along with the drinks, you can offer a small array of wine and/or beer or nothing else at all. Regardless of the size of the event, couples can expect to save 20 to 25 percent, says Brenton Milardo, a bartender with No Last Call Bartending in Tampa, Fla. Arielle Smith, 25, is planning the drink menu with her fiance, Todd Funk. They plan to serve two cocktails, a nonalcoholic concoction for the kiddos and beer and wine at their Nov. 23 nuptials. One specialty drink they have in mind is the Honeymoon, which is cachaca (a sugar-cane rum), lemon or lime juice and a spoonful of honey. "We're getting married in November, ...

Treats for the out-of-town wedding guests bc-wedtreats-travel(sh) | By: LENNIE BENNETT | Source: Tampa Bay Times | Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) Apr 30, 2013 11:25 AM By LENNIE BENNETT Rare today is the wedding-guest list made up mostly of home-towners. For many brides and grooms, friends and family have become a far-flung network, and connecting at one time in one place is difficult. A wedding is usually the occasion for such a broad ingathering and, as the bride and groom, you want to express your gratitude for the loving effort made to be there for you. In other words, in recent years, the bride and groom not only get gifts, they give gifts, too, showing their gratitude with the Out-of-Town Gift Bag or Box (sometimes called the OOT). The OOT can range from a simple paper gift bag with bottled water and a few snacks to elaborately boxed, themed collections. The choices are vast. Google "out of town wedding gifts" and up pop dozens of sites with ideas and merchandise. Having been to a number of weddings as an "OOT-er," I can tell you that I always enjoy and appreciate the gift. A North Carolina wedding brought a gift box with lots of local ...

25 easy treats to make for Mom on Mother's Day bc-momdaytreats(sh) | By: JANET K. KEELER | Source: Tampa Bay Times | Food and Nutrition (DD), Family/Relationships (LY) Apr 30, 2013 11:25 AM By JANET K. KEELER The sweetest person you know deserves something equally sugary on Sunday, May 12. That would be your mother and the occasion is Mother's Day. A luxurious brunch and a vase full of tulips are perfectly acceptable, and so is breakfast in bed, especially when big hands help little hands and someone (not her!) cleans the kitchen. But maybe cooking up a storm isn't your bag and the wallet is a bit slim this year. Still, that IOU idea, just like a pile of dirty dishes, will not get you in her good graces. More like hot water. So what to serve the day's reigning queen? We've put together 25 simple ideas for sweet somethings for Mom that run the gamut from chocolate delights to fruity concoctions. First, you need to figure out what her passion is. Does she want something healthy before a super-long run? Does chocolate help her get through the day? Maybe it's a juicy mango or another tropical fruit that sets her heart (and taste buds) aflutter. Make a couple of ...

Hart: My brain surgery bc-hart25(sh) | By: BETSY HART | Source: Scripps Howard News Service | Lifestyle (KO), Family/Relationships (LY) Apr 25, 2013 3:24 PM As I write this, it is my last day before a birthday. A big one. One of those with a zero in it. (Let's leave it at that!) And I'm finding that I'm more reflective than usual. Not for the standard "What have I done with my life so far?" reasons. Not even because I married again last October, after eight long years of being, involuntarily, a single parent, and am busy learning, and enjoying, what it is to have a new life and new family. It's that I recently discovered a menacing and potentially life-threatening cerebral aneurysm before it ruptured. It presented no symptoms, I had no risk factors for one and it was found by God's grace, in that I had a routine "let's just check" MRI for something completely unrelated that itself turned out to be nothing. Discovery of the aneurysm led to brain surgery, aka a craniotomy. The aneurysm was treated by top surgeons, involving a several-hour procedure, three clips, a long scar behind my hairline and a stint in the ICU. Now it's gone --...

64 results 1 2 3 4 ...